Six pointless posts that I did not publish.

I have written exactly six blog entries in the past two days. I have posted none of them. They were all pointless. As the noble King Solomon once said. "Vanity, vanity! All is vanity!"

1. First, I wrote one about the cat that broke into our house and ate Cynthia's bread. But it was a dumb story. The cat ate the bread and came back a few days later and ate the butter. The end. 

2. Then I started writing about the guy that tried to follow me home on my bike, and how I had to call my friend to come to my rescue. But I didn't want to freak you guys out, so I didn't write about that. 

3. Last night I started to write one about how I saved a baby bird from a horrible death in a construction site. Oh my heavens, it was so cute! It's little baby foot was squished under a rock! But then I rescued it and put it in a box outside of my classroom. However, it hopped away into oblivion during the middle of my Nepali lesson, so I didn't really have a story anymore. 

4 - 5. I also wrote two new "cooking with Deepa" stories, but they weren't really blog worthy. So what? I broke another plate and a mug today and may or may not have set one more oven mitt on fire (barely!)... but who's counting? 

6. When I ran out of stories, I tried to write about my emotions. Big mistake. I have more emotions than a teenage girl who just got kicked off the cheerleading squad for wearing the wrong color socks. And those 45, 983 emotions? I can't identify any of them. That's why I haven't posted any my thoughts; because I sound like a cuckoo rambling about how hard it is to live in a third world country away from the community that I love, yet it is a delight to live among some of the most interesting, affectionate, hilarious people that I have ever met. But it all sounded like rambling, so I didn't post it.

I know that God is totally present with me in every moment- cat burglaries, baby birds, and broken tea mugs- working this whole thing out according to His great big plan (aka: not my great big plan), and that this is not all pointless. But sometimes, it just feels pointless. And that is the exact moment when I choose to ignore those 45, 983 emotions and remember the truth. I choose to ignore my feelings, keep begging God for mercy, and remember that he has brought me through pointless things before... and the truth is that they never end up being pointless.